The Game of Books and Jell-O
by Emy-chan
Summary: What happens when Hermione signs a paper stating that she'll never read another book in her spare time for the REST OF HER LIFE? This is just a joke, flame me if you want.


None of these characters belong to me, only to J.K. Rowling. I was in a weird mood when I wrote this, be warned.  
  
  
  
  
  
The Game of Books and Jell-o  
  
THE AGREEMENT  
  
  
  
"It's time," He told her. Tears welled up in her eyes and began to stream down her cheeks. "Are you ready?"  
  
"Yeah," Hermione sniffed, " You know I'd only be doing this for you and Ron, Harry."  
  
"Uh-huh, I know." Harry smirked at the thought of this. "It'll be good for you." She nodded and tried to smile.  
  
Grabbing her arm, he pulled her out into the corridor. They began to walk down the hall, where Hermione would enter the room at the end of it. She wrung her hands nervously as he raced ahead, grinning like a hyena.  
  
Finally, they reached the room at the end. Harry swung the door open and motioned for Hermione to step inside. She did so.  
  
"Hello Ms. Granger." Ron said formally, winking at Harry. He winked back. Ron went behind the desk in the small room. To their surprise, the desk was very neat. He opened the middle drawer and pulled out two pieces of typed parchment. "You may want to read before signing." She nodded.  
  
I, _________________, do solemnly swear that I will never read another book in my spare time for the rest of my life, due to the over-wrath of you-know- who (Lord Voldemort).  
  
I stand to believe that this will be good for me, seeing that I have read every book in the Hogwarts library anyway.  
  
Hermione read the paper over and over in her mind. The rest of the page was filled with other reasons it would be good for her. None of them seemed to make sense. all but the last one:  
  
I understand that my over-reading is making me a pushy, bossy, know-it-all.  
  
She let out a small sob as, at last, she wrote her signature at the bottom of the page in bold dark ink. As soon as she wrote it the floodgates opened. Tears flowed openly from her eyes, as behind her back, Harry and Ron high-fived. Little did they know, that this little game they were playing with their friend would have deadly side affects. (Scary music plays in background.)  
  
  
  
THE SIDE-AFFECTS  
  
They started on the 2nd week. Hermione was sitting at her desk, long after she had finished her homework. She cherished the time she spent reading in class. The books were no longer boring or droning on and on, but interesting and wonderful. Her hand itched over to the book sitting next to her. She slapped herself on the other hand.  
  
"Don't break your oath." She told herself. Then it hit her. Find a new love! But what, she didn't know.  
  
That night at dinnertime, she ate three bowls of cherry flavored Jell- O. The next night, she ate five.  
  
The first side affect: obsession with jell-o.  
  
"Um. Hermione, can you stand a little friendly honesty?"  
  
"Of course Ron!"  
  
"You're getting a little fat from all that jell-o." He muttered quickly. She opened her mouth to say something, but stopped. He was right; she'd end up looking like a sumo- wrestler before long.  
  
"Thanks Ron," she said. However, this wasn't the end.  
  
The next side- affect was grinding her teeth. This stopped when Professor Snape took five points from Gryffindor when she did it in class.  
  
"It was so embarrassing!" she yelled at Harry. "And it's all your and Ron's fault! You drove me to it!" Her eyes widened as she screamed at them. The next side-affect: Sensitivity.  
  
"I heard you got an A on your test Hermione!" Ron said cheerfully one day.  
  
Tears filled her eyes. "You just have to rub it in that I didn't get an A+, don't you?" She sobbed. "Well, you just go ahead Mr. Weasley, because I'll get it right next time!"  
  
On September the 20th, she finally cracked. She spent the night in the Hogwart's kitchen, eating jell-o, grinding her teeth, and crying. House- elves gathered around her, trying to take the jell-o from her hands.  
  
"Please M'am, we need the jell-o for tomorrow's dinner!" Dobby sobbed.  
  
"GGGGGRRRRRRR!" she snarled. They scattered and she continued to eat her beloved jell-o. When she finally fell asleep, her dreams were filled with visions of little dancing books and huge bowls of red jell-o.  
  
  
  
THE GAME  
  
The next morning, she sat in the school's library, putting a finishing touch on her perfect homework. She glanced at Harry and Ron, across the room. Would she make it? She stood up and dropped to a stoop. She walked on her knees until she got to the nearest bookshelf. Her shaking hand reached to the bookshelf. She withdrew it.  
  
She tried again, shaking more and more by the second. Her hand touched the book. She screamed.  
  
"Noooooooooooooo!" She cried, sobbing. Her hand seemed to be glued to the book. Harry and Ron ran to her side. They looked at each other and raised an eyebrow. She let go of it and threw herself at them, crying on Ron's shoulder.  
  
"I 'm so sorry," She sobbed. "I touched it! I touched a book! I was going to read it! I, I." She bawled.  
  
Her two friends snorted and then broke out in loud laughter. Hermione fell from them and sat on the floor, looking at them, with tears still going down her cheeks.  
  
Ron leaned on Harry's arm for support for he was laughing so hard. Harry fell against a bookshelf.  
  
"What.?" She started.  
  
"You actually believed us?" Harry cried, between his tears of laughter.  
  
"Well."  
  
"I can't believe it!" Ron laughed, "Is that why you ate so much Jell- o?!" The two of them continued to laugh. Hermione looked at them, mouth wide open and eyes narrowed.  
  
It was a joke! All a joke! She thought. And with that, she grabbed a book from the shelf and hurled it at Harry's head. Clunk!  
  
"OUCH! Hermione!" He exclaimed. She picked up another, this time it hit Ron in the shin.  
  
"Oooooooooowwwwwww!" He bellowed. She stood up, grabbed both books, and sat down at her chair and began to read the first book: How to Hex your Friends!  
  
And from that book, she learned the spell to make your friends dream about jell-o every single night for the rest of their lives.  
  
THE END 


End file.
